Examining sports axioms that we assume make sense

Sometimes, you have to have some free floating feelings that are a

mixture of laughter and hostility. 

As sports fans, we hear statements whether it is from fans, traditional

media, social media or message boards that make you think anything

from “Thank you, Captain Obvious,” to “No S---!” It’s a four-letter

word that starts with S and ends in Shinolah. 

These statements have an element of cliche but they make you roll your

eyes when hearing them. In a nutshell, they are statements that people

are programmed to think are true but when examining deeper, it makes

you realize something much different. I asked for suggestions on social

media recently. 

Without further adieu, here are among the better ones: 

“(INSERT RANDOM QUARTERBACK) does not do well/is less

effective under pressure.”

-- I’m not referring to leading your team down the field with 1:30 left in

the game and 80 yards to go for a touchdown. I’m referring to getting

pressured by the pass rush. I don’t care if you are the best quarterback

ever to play (Tom Brady) or the biggest bust in NFL history (JaMarcus

Russell), you’re effectiveness will be compromised if under duress. The

only variable is some will perform better than others. 

“Offense sells tickets, defense wins championships.”

--In a football context, I beg to differ. Offense still sells tickets, defense

wins games but line play wins championships. I’ve seen elite offenses and

defenses not win championships but I have yet to see a team with subpar

line play win one.

“You play to win the game!”

--I can think of examples where teams try to lose for higher draft picks.

They call it tanking. 

“We all need to do better.” 

--This is very common after a blowout loss. I prefer the phrase, “system

wide failure” or “in a loss like this, no one gets a pass.”

“He came to play today” or “we came to play.”

--Why just one player? As for the we part, what did you come to play?

Checkers? Blackjack? 

Anything that starts with “at the end of the day.”

--The end of all days are when the clock reads 11:59 p.m. and 59

seconds. 

“We just need to execute” or “we didn’t execute” or “our plan was

solid, we just didn’t execute.”

--I prefer, “either you execute or get executed.”

“We need to eliminate turnovers.”

--I prefer the phrase “self-inflicted wounds.”

 “They’re going to need to score more points if they are going to

win.” 

--Now that’s the epitome of a Captain Obvious statement.

“My bad”

--No kidding, everyone in the stands knows it was your bad.

“Wait until next year!”

--I prefer “one season doesn’t transfer to the next.”

“You can’t win them all.”

--Though it is very rare, you actually can win them all. 

The ever popular. “It’s the refs fault.”

--There are bad calls in every minute of every game, yet the only ones

mentioned are in the final moments of the game. 

“He's just a system quarterback or game manager.”

--These two phrases make me vomit in my mouth. The first one is a

convenient way to denigrate someone’s achievements. The second is

like a left-handed compliment. 

About a hitter: “He likes to get his arms extended.”

--As opposed to keeping the bat on the shoulders. 

“Touchdown saving tackle.

--All touchdowns that get stopped short of the goal-line save

touchdowns. What about that sack for minus seven yards? That one really

saved the touchdown. 

“Next man up.”

--Get enough injuries and at some point there is no next man.