Saturday, November 14, 2020

Life event leads to different social media approach

 

Sometimes a simple decision can have short-term ramifications that

you hope translates into long term effects. 


Slightly over a month ago, I decided to unplug myself from Facebook

for an undetermined stretch of time. My original plan was to perform

this move at least until the presidential election concluded. I have

been very active on social media, specifically Facebook, since 2008,

and to a lesser extent Twitter and Instagram. It started on a sleepless

night after my wife, Jacqueline, and I welcomed our now 12-year old

twins (Thomas and Danielle) into the world to go along with Juliette,

who turns 14 in March 2021. 


Long story short, I heard about Facebook and decided to establish

an account in the wee hours of the morning because I could not get

back to sleep after helping bottle feed one of the then newborns. The

next thing I know, bada-boom, bada-bing, I see many people pop up

from various pockets of my life. The friend requests come flowing with

abandon from grade school, high school, college, professional and

family life. Facebook was, and still can be, a great place to post

happy occasions including but not limited to family events such as

holidays, youth sporting events, etc. 


Unfortunately, it has also turned into a venue where people get on

their soapbox when it comes to hot button issues like politics, religion

and more recently Covid-19 and social justice issues. Sometimes, it’s

closer to being a Jerry Springer Show episode. I can’t rail against

those people too hard because at times I have been guilty of such.

So, I am thus owning those actions.


Last month, however, I endured a life-altering event. I’m not going to

bore you with details but the company of my employer (Alhambra

Water) nearly had four branches in the Bay Area go on strike. While

I was cautiously optimistic such an event would not happen, going

through two weeks wondering exacted a toll on me mentally and

emotionally. It’s a good thing, I did not check my pressure during

that time. 


During the pandemic, I have been insulated from the reality of losing

my job as so many have since I am an essential worker. So many

emotions went through my mind: how can I provide for my family,

what about losing my medical coverage? For the latter, all three of

my kids are on my plan. 


The day before the contract ultimately passed, I decided it was a

good time to take a hiatus from Facebook. Given how drained I was

mentally and emotionally, the last thing I was in any mood to read

was political posts, Covid-19, social justice reform, etc. My original

plan was to stay off Facebook at least until the Presidential Election

on Nov. 3. Well, I returned the day before because I felt confident

enough in where I was mentally. 


The time away from Facebook has made me re-evaluate the usage

of the platform. I established an Instagram account (vdadamo1972)

mainly because that platform involves sharing pictures and is far

less politically driven. When I returned to Facebook, the unfollow

and hide post buttons continued to become layup lines. I also

realized that perhaps posting on topics that led to unhealthy debate

was making my Facebook life too time consuming. In addition,

perhaps it’s better to use the like button rather than commenting.

Why? Because posting on such topics creates an unnecessary

need to reply to comments. 


I’m not begrudging those who post topics that cause unhealthy

debate because it is their page and it’s not my place to make rules.

Some will argue that we need healthy discourse and also having

uncomfortable conversations is a necessary evil. I concur that it is

necessarily to break barriers but I don’t think social media is the

place to do it. Why? Because people develop keyboard muscles

and resort to rudeness and name calling that they would not have

the plumbing to do in person. I have feelings about the

aforementioned sensitive topics but if someone wants to have

that conversation, I’d rather have it either in person, instant

message, phone, etc. 


Another layer is that too many people think that speaking out on

sensitive topics on social media makes them an activist. It doesn’t

make them an activist any more than me lifting the hood of my car

makes me a mechanic. With the aforementioned sensitive topics,

we frequently hear the phrase, “we need to keep the conversation

going.” I say nonsense, the conversation has gone on long enough.

As the Toby Keith song lyrics go, “a little less talk, a lot more action.”

As a society, we’ve become great at complaining but not very good

about making our communities better. I would be willing to bet that

many people bitching on social media are doing nothing to make

their community better.  


My newfound social media approach has become more about family,

friendship and links to my blog and avoid topics that cause

unhealthy debate. While I was not unhappy before, I find that

approach has made me happier. 


Now it’s on me to stay strong in that approach. 

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