Sometimes a simple decision can have short-term ramifications that
you hope translates into long term effects.
Slightly over a month ago, I decided to unplug myself from Facebook
for an undetermined stretch of time. My original plan was to perform
this move at least until the presidential election concluded. I have
been very active on social media, specifically Facebook, since 2008,
and to a lesser extent Twitter and Instagram. It started on a sleepless
night after my wife, Jacqueline, and I welcomed our now 12-year old
twins (Thomas and Danielle) into the world to go along with Juliette,
who turns 14 in March 2021.
Long story short, I heard about Facebook and decided to establish
an account in the wee hours of the morning because I could not get
back to sleep after helping bottle feed one of the then newborns. The
next thing I know, bada-boom, bada-bing, I see many people pop up
from various pockets of my life. The friend requests come flowing with
abandon from grade school, high school, college, professional and
family life. Facebook was, and still can be, a great place to post
happy occasions including but not limited to family events such as
holidays, youth sporting events, etc.
Unfortunately, it has also turned into a venue where people get on
their soapbox when it comes to hot button issues like politics, religion
and more recently Covid-19 and social justice issues. Sometimes, it’s
closer to being a Jerry Springer Show episode. I can’t rail against
those people too hard because at times I have been guilty of such.
So, I am thus owning those actions.
Last month, however, I endured a life-altering event. I’m not going to
bore you with details but the company of my employer (Alhambra
Water) nearly had four branches in the Bay Area go on strike. While
I was cautiously optimistic such an event would not happen, going
through two weeks wondering exacted a toll on me mentally and
emotionally. It’s a good thing, I did not check my pressure during
that time.
During the pandemic, I have been insulated from the reality of losing
my job as so many have since I am an essential worker. So many
emotions went through my mind: how can I provide for my family,
what about losing my medical coverage? For the latter, all three of
my kids are on my plan.
The day before the contract ultimately passed, I decided it was a
good time to take a hiatus from Facebook. Given how drained I was
mentally and emotionally, the last thing I was in any mood to read
was political posts, Covid-19, social justice reform, etc. My original
plan was to stay off Facebook at least until the Presidential Election
on Nov. 3. Well, I returned the day before because I felt confident
enough in where I was mentally.
The time away from Facebook has made me re-evaluate the usage
of the platform. I established an Instagram account (vdadamo1972)
mainly because that platform involves sharing pictures and is far
less politically driven. When I returned to Facebook, the unfollow
and hide post buttons continued to become layup lines. I also
realized that perhaps posting on topics that led to unhealthy debate
was making my Facebook life too time consuming. In addition,
perhaps it’s better to use the like button rather than commenting.
Why? Because posting on such topics creates an unnecessary
need to reply to comments.
I’m not begrudging those who post topics that cause unhealthy
debate because it is their page and it’s not my place to make rules.
Some will argue that we need healthy discourse and also having
uncomfortable conversations is a necessary evil. I concur that it is
necessarily to break barriers but I don’t think social media is the
place to do it. Why? Because people develop keyboard muscles
and resort to rudeness and name calling that they would not have
the plumbing to do in person. I have feelings about the
aforementioned sensitive topics but if someone wants to have
that conversation, I’d rather have it either in person, instant
message, phone, etc.
Another layer is that too many people think that speaking out on
sensitive topics on social media makes them an activist. It doesn’t
make them an activist any more than me lifting the hood of my car
makes me a mechanic. With the aforementioned sensitive topics,
we frequently hear the phrase, “we need to keep the conversation
going.” I say nonsense, the conversation has gone on long enough.
As the Toby Keith song lyrics go, “a little less talk, a lot more action.”
As a society, we’ve become great at complaining but not very good
about making our communities better. I would be willing to bet that
many people bitching on social media are doing nothing to make
their community better.
My newfound social media approach has become more about family,
friendship and links to my blog and avoid topics that cause
unhealthy debate. While I was not unhappy before, I find that
approach has made me happier.
Now it’s on me to stay strong in that approach.
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