As a 47-year old Generation Xer, I am amused everytime I blow
the minds of millennials.
To add context, Generation X is considered anyone born between
the years of 1965-1980. Millennials are defined as being born
between the years of 1981-1996. I enjoy seeing the “damn you’re
old” looks on their face when I mention things like rotary phones,
pay phones, VCRs, etc.
Within the last four years, I have played fantasy football. Recently
after work, a few millennial co-workers (shoutout Kyle Stamp and
Darrel Hizon) and I were talking about the NFL. The Detroit Lions
came up in conversation. The dialogue was to the effect how the
Lions have been either perpetually bad or if they get to the playoffs
it is a short stint. I quipped, “I remember the last time the Lions won
a playoff game -- 1991.” They collectively looked at me and said,
“Damn, you’re old.”
So instead of getting mad, I’m going to have fun. I went team-by-
team and decided to come up with nuggets that will blow the minds
of millennials. You think I’m old, fine. I’ll roll with it but I haven’t filed
for Social Security yet. Read on, youngsters. Just don’t sit on my lap
and expect me to read this to you:
AFC EAST
New England -- I remember the Patriots getting to the Super Bowl
without Bill Belichick and/or Tom Brady. Facts: In 1985, the Patriots
lost Super Bowl XX to the Chicago Bears. Raymond Berry was the
head coach and Tony Eason was the quarterback. In 1996, the
Patriots lost Super Bowl XXXI to Green Bay. Belichick was an
assistant on that staff under Bill Parcels and Drew Bledsoe was
the quarterback.
Buffalo -- I remember the Bills reaching the Super Bowl and winning
a playoff game. Facts: Since the calendar reached 2000, the Bills
have had only one playoff appearance (2017). Buffalo appeared in
four straight Super Bowls (1990-1993). The Bills’ last playoff win was
in January 1996.
New York Jets -- I remember the Jets playing at Shea Stadium.
Fact: The Jets played at Shea Stadium, which was also home to the
New York Mets, from 1961-1983.
Miami Dolphins -- I remember the Dolphins playing in a Super Bowl
and when they were coached by NFL legend Don Shula. Fact: Miami
won a playoff game in January 2001 (23-17 in overtime, downing the
Colts). Millennials would remember that game but they would not
recall the Dolphins appearing in two Super Bowls in three seasons,
1982 and 1984. Miami lost 27-17 in the 1982 matchup and 38-16 in
the 1984 contest, Shula, who holds the NFL record for coach wins
(347), last coached in 1995.
AFC NORTH
Pittsburgh Steelers -- I remember when Chuck Noll was the head
coach. Fact: In an age when NFL franchises change coach as often
as some people change socks, the Steelers have had three head
coaches (Chuck Noll, Bill Cowher and Mike Tomlin). Millenials know
Cowher and Tomlin but were not in follow football mode when Noll
retired in 1991, if they were born at all.
Baltimore Ravens -- I remember when they were known as the
Cleveland Browns, coached by Bill Belichick. Fact: The Browns
vacated Cleveland after the 1995 season, moving to Baltimore
and becoming known as the Ravens. Belichick was fired.
Cincinnati Bengals -- I remember the Bengals reaching the
Super Bowl and winning a playoff game. Fact: The Bengals
reached Super Bowl XVI and XXIII against the San Francisco
49ers, losing 26-21 and 20-16. The Bengals last playoff win
came in January 1991 against the Houston Oilers, who are
now the Tennessee Titans.
Cleveland Browns -- I remember the original Cleveland Browns.
Fact: See Baltimore Ravens. The Browns Part II returned to the
NFL in 1999.
AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts -- I remember them as the Baltimore Colts.
Fact: Baltimore was the Colts home from 1953-1983 before they
moved to Indianapolis.
Tennessee Titans -- I remember when they were known as
the Houston Oilers. Fact: From 1960-1996, the Titans were the
Houston Oilers. The franchise moved to Nashville to start the 1997
season. They were known as the Tennesee Oilers from 1997-1998
before being rebranded as the Tennessee Titans.
Jacksonville Jaguars -- I remember when they did not exist. Fact:
In 1995, the NFL expanded from 28 teams to 30, adding the
Jacksonville Jaguars and Carolina Panthers.
Houston Texans -- I can’t stump millennials here. The Texans
entered the NFL in 2002, although only a certain percentage would
remember the Texans not existing.
AFC WEST
Kansas City -- I remember Joe Montana as quarterback the Chiefs.
Fact: Montana is among the all-time greats at his position. After
injuries coupled with the emergence of Steve Young, the 49ers
traded Montana to Kansas City. With Montana under center, the
Chiefs reached the AFC Title Game in January 1994. The did not
return to that point until January 2019.
Oakland -- I remember the Raiders first stint in Oakland and the
team winning the Super Bowl. Fact: The Raiders moved from
Oakland to Los Angeles from 1982-1994. They will be moving to
Las Vegas in 2020. The Raiders won Super Bowl XVIII, 38-9 over
the Washington Redskins in 1983.
Los Angeles Chargers -- I remember the Chargers playing in the
Super Bowl. Fact: With Dan Fouts and Phillip Rivers, the Chargers
have two Hall of Fame quarterbacks. The former was enshrined in
1993 and the latter will likely be there after he retires. The Chargers
reached the Super Bowl in 1994 with Stan Humphries, losing to
San Francisco 49-26.
Denver -- I remember John Elway when he was known as a Super
Bowl choker. Fact: Elway retired after the 1998 season, finishing
his career with the Broncos winning back-to-back Super Bowls.
From 1986-1989, the Broncos had three Super Bowl losses in
decisive fashion to the New York Giants, Washington Redskins
and San Francisco 49ers.
NFC EAST
Dallas -- I remember the Cowboys winning a Super Bowl and Tom
Landry as the coach/pre-Jerry Jones ownership. Fact: The
Cowboys last Super Bowl title was 1995, beating Pittsburgh 27-17.
Landry was the Cowboys coach from 1960-1988. Landry, who is
fourth all-time in coaching victories, was fired after the Cowboys
ownership change from Tex Schramm to Jones.
Philadelphia -- I remember Reggie White as an Eagle and Dick
Vermeil as the coach. Fact: White is most known for his time as a
Green Bay Packer from 1993-1998 but also starred as an Eagle
from 1985-1992. Vermeil, who last coached in the NFL in 2005,
was the Eagles coach from 1976-1982.
New York Giants -- I remember the Giants winning a Super Bowl
with a quarterback other than Eli Manning. Fact: The Giants won
the Super Bowl in 2007 and 2011 with Manning as the signal-
caller. In 1986 and 1990, though buoyed by greatness on defense,
Phil Simms and Jeff Hostetler were the Giants quarterbacks.
Washington -- I remember the Redskins winning Super Bowls and
being a model franchise. Fact: The Redskins have mostly been a
franchise of dysfunction since Daniel Snyder purchased the team
in 1999. The Redskins, who won three Super Bowls between 1982-
1991, have just two playoff wins since 1999. In that span, unlike now,
they had a highly respected owner -- Jack Kent Cook.
NFC NORTH
Chicago -- I remember the 1985 Super Bowl winning team. Fact:
Since 1985, the Bears have just six playoff wins. That season,
however, the Bears ran roughshod over the NFL on the way to
winning Super Bowl XX. Many people consider that Bears defense
the best single-season unit of all-time, allowing just 198 points.
Green Bay -- I remember the pre-Brett Favre Green Bay Packers.
Fact: I’m not old enough to remember the Vince Lombardi era
(1959-1967) but since 1992, the Packers have been blessed with
greatness at quarterback with Favre and Aaron Rodgers. Between
Favre and fellow Hall of Famer Bart Starr, there was some pretty
subpar play at quarterback.
Detroit -- I remember the Lions winning a playoff game. Fact: The
Lions won four NFL championships with the last one coming in 1957.
Well, I’m not that old but I recall their last playoff win in 1991, 38-6
over Dallas.
Minnesota -- I remember when the Vikings gave up a King’s
Ransom and half the Mississippi River to acquire Herschel Walker
in 1989. Fact: The Vikings believed that Walker, who was a running
back, was the missing piece to their Super Bowl aspirations. The
Dallas Cowboys were in a rebuild and deemed Walker expendable.
The Cowboys received three draft picks in 1990 and three more in
1991 that turned into key pieces to winning three Super Bowls in
four years. Minnesota, however, fell short of reaching the Super
Bowl in Walker’s time.
NFC SOUTH
Atlanta -- I remember Deion Sanders as an Atlanta Falcon. Fact:
Sanders bounced around to a few teams such as San Francisco,
Dallas, Washington and Baltimore. Sanders, who is now an NFL
Network analyst, began his career with the Falcon, where he
played from 1989-1993. Sanders was retired for three seasons
(2001-2003) before playing two seasons in Baltimore.
Carolina -- I remember when the Panthers did not exist. Fact:
The NFL added two teams in 1995, the Carolina Panthers and
Jacksonville Jaguars.
Tampa Bay -- I remember the pre-Tony Dungy era. Fact: I could say
that I remember the John McKay era (1976-1983) but millennials
would think John McCain. After the McKay era ended, the Bucs fell
on some lean years (no winning seasons from 1983-1996) before
Dungy led the Bucs to a division title in 1997.
New Orleans -- I remember when they were mockingly known as
The Ain’ts. Facts: Since the Sean Payton and Drew Brees era
began in 2006, the Saints have developed a national following. In
1980, however, when they were 1-15, fans wore brown paper bags
over their heads with the word Ain’ts written on them. The Saints
entered the NFL in 1967 but did not record their first winning season
until 1987.
NFC WEST
Arizona -- I remember when there was the football version of the St.
Louis Cardinals. Fact: The Cardinals made their home in Chicago
from 1920-1943 and 1945-1959 before moving to St. Louis (1960-
1987). The Cardinals moved to Arizona in 1988.
Los Angeles Rams -- I remember the Rams’ first stint in Los Angeles.
Fact: The Rams played in Cleveland from 1936-1942 and 1944-1945.
The Rams first stint in Los Angeles was 1946-1994 before moving to
St. Louis (1995-2015).
Seattle -- I remember when Curt Warner was a running back and Jim
Zorn was a quarterback. Fact: The Seahawks entered the league in
1976. Zorn was the Washington Redskins head coach from 2008-
2009 but Zorn was the Seahawks quarterback from 1976-1984.
The passing combination of Zorn to Steve Largent is one of the best
in NFL history. Most know Kurt Warner as the former Rams, Giants
and Cardinals quarterback. Curt Warner was a three-time Pro Bowl
running back for the Seahawks (1983-1989).
San Francisco -- I remember the 49ers winning five Super Bowls in
13 seasons, 1981-1994. Fact: San Francisco has had just five
winning seasons over the past 20 years but as of this writing, they
49ers were off to a 5-0 start in head coach Kyle Shanahan’s third
season. That start marks the franchise’s best since 1990.
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