Not everyone should get a trophy

Sometimes you have those column ideas that have been on your mind for eons but never get around to writing.

For me, this is one of those times. When I was a sports reporter for community daily and weekly newspapers, I liked to accentuate the positive in the youngsters we cover because after all, high school will be the pinnacle of their athletic careers. Most of them, anyhow.

However, when a certain topic was broached to me in casual conversation with an acquaintance recently, I could not help but have my cynical side rear its ugly head.

What was the topic, might you ask?

Drumroll please ... the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality that has seeped into our culture, particularly in sports. Can’t you help but notice when you go to any random eight-team tournament, be it in high school or youth sports and, gasp, see the eighth-place team get a trophy for participating?

I played on good and bad sports teams throughout my youth and into high school. Let me tell you, I played on some lousy football teams in Justin-Siena High School. My sophomore year, we did not win a game. The best season we had as a team was 3-6.

Yet my teams received nary a trophy. However, neither my teammates nor I thought anything of it. We didn’t deserve it. We knew it.

I grew up being conditioned that we live in a competitive world. If you want to succeed at something, you have to work at it by devoting time, effort and energy to make people take notice. Some people may be more talented than you, but that is beyond your control.

However, the effort you exude can be controlled.

Like most people my age (43), or older, I have noticed a change in expectations over the years. It’s as if people want a high standard of achievement with the least amount of effort. Parents that have an inflated idea of how good their kid is fuel that attitude.

I understand that parents want their kids to feel good about themselves, but to award them with lavish ceremonies, plaques, trophies and awards for simply participating does them a huge disservice later in life.

It sets in the young child’s mind an unrealistic expectation — if I show up and participate, I get an award. They see everyone getting the same award regardless of the level of actual achievement attained.

No wonder a growing number of people have a sense of entitlement. Believe me, I liked winning far more than losing when I played sports. Though it’s hard to look at my high school football experience as positive considering we lost several games, the older I get, the more I realize that failure has been a good teacher.

You have to fall off the bicycle a few times in order to learn how to stay upright. Failing at a single attempt is not failing at life. In the grand scheme of things, failure is as vital to high levels of achievement as is the hard work and the effort required to excel.

Why is the Lombardi Trophy so special? Why is the World Cup Trophy so great? Because not everyone gets to hold those trophies over their heads and call themselves great.

Now, don’t be too quick to judge or assume that I think we should all be losers. It’s more about understanding how to accept a loss and turning a negative into a positive — something we all must learn and if we are always assuming that, no matter what, we will be rewarded, then where is the drive and motivation to perform beyond expectations?

It’s like your boss giving you a medal because you show up for work.

At some point, we all lose. No one wins 100 percent of the time — and that’s a good thing.

Without losing, we don’t know what it’s like to win. Without failing, we can’t find the equation to win.

So we shouldn’t always get a trophy. We should get a trophy when we deserve it.

If we give all kids a trophy, it has no meaning to the actual winner. If all of your co-workers were terrible at their job, but you were doing great, and you all got a raise/promotion, it has no meaning to you. I’m just saying that we need to prepare kids for life.

Therefore, I believe that not everyone should get a trophy.